I really do have a bag of emergency fireworks on my desk.  They are M-70's I bought from a shady fireworks stand in Wisconsin almost 10 years ago.  You just never know when you might need fireworks for something and I'd feel like a fool if I were caught without them in a time of need.

Also! Did you see the BONUS "comic" I posted on Friday?  If not, you should go check it out...